Life alert...

I want Life alert... or Lifeline... whatever you want to call it.

I always have wanted one. Ever since I first saw that "I've fallen... and I can't get up" commercial way back, it has been a goal to get it. It's like having a medical butler at any moment. It would be the shit to just use randomly in life as I'm aging. I'm not a senior citizen... but maybe just maybe, I might one day be too lazy to get up when I fall...

Now that I don't have Life alert I might actually have to get up... or wait for someone to notice me on the ground. which could take a while.

With life alert I wouldn't even have to get up if I ever get tripped, fall or am pushed to the ground. I could just push that button.

I would wear that shit all the time like old people.

I would rock that shit hard,

but... on the negative side, it is kinda pointing out to the whole world...

...I'm really lazy.

So lazy that when I fall down I'm just going to push a button and wait... ... .. until you pick me up. I'm so lazy that when I have a heart attack I just push a button cause I'm too lazy to even look for a defibrillator, let alone use it on myself..

I still want one.

This would be a perfect Xmas gift or birthday present.

Please... won't you help someone like me... get something that I don't need?

I'm sorry deaf people.

Deaf People, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I smile when I hear your accent. Is that what its called? It kinda sounds like a person talking when they're yawning and you never really know what they said... or mean.

Why do you whisper so much?

I understand you sound funny when you speak loud, but you would never know... right? In the random experiences I've had at work with deaf people... you deaf people are always whispering to me. As if for some odd reason I'm going to understand you better if you're quieter. That's not the real problem though... When I am whispered at, I whisper back. Deaf people, Please do not whisper to me. I look like a damn fool, and somewhat of an asshole for whispering to a deaf person. I have been caught and even caught myself whispering to deaf people on a number of occasions. I don't do it intentionally, but if you are offended, I'm sorry. Really how could you be offended? ....You can't hear me.

I'm sorry to all of the deaf people who may read this and get offended, but really how do you even have a concept of whispering?

NEW CD! Blindness

  blindness by DJstillbirth

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